What a month it was.....

Its finished, over, done.... but what a month it was. Saturday night saw the 'See You Next Tuesday' festival close with a Gala for the Women of the Congo. A night of celebration, performances and dancing; a glorious way to end an awe inspiring festival. After 6 performances, The Vagina Monologues came to a close at 4pm on Saturday. It was such an amazing experience, each year I know i want to be involved with this movement, but it is generally not until afterwards that i realise just how important it is, and what a great effect it has on me. This year was no different. We had an aim to raise £2000 which will pay for 100 women in the Congo to have a years worth of self defense lessons. I'm not quite sure of exact figures yet, but i know that due to the incredible generosity of audiences we are very close to reaching that goal. What an amazing achievement!! Emma-Jane, Annie, Cassie, Debs, and Gems your girls are unreal, thank you for all of your laughter and smiles the last few weeks, working with you made this years production unforgettable!

The Gala on Saturday night was such a celebration and really was the perfect end to the festival, it was also a time to think about everything that i have learned over the last few weeks. We had all been working so hard in the weeks leading up to the performances, knowing how much we wanted to raise and exactly what it was for, that i didn't have a chance to think about the change that this money would actually make. It wasn't until Saturday night that i had time to reflect on the V-Day movement and how strongly i feel about it. The evening included guest speakers, performances of monologues and amazing live music from a beautiful choir and Congolese band called Kasai Masai (book them now.. seriously they are amazing). I performed with Annie and Gemskii (two of the Vagina monologues cast) a monologue from Eve Ensler's new publication 'I am an emotional creature; the secret life of girls around the world'. Sam Roddick, owner of lingerie brand Coco de mer, gave an impassioned speech about her recent trip to the Congo and the reality of life for the women there. I don't think any words have hit me harder than Sam's very simple statement; 'we are all implicitly linked'. It is not a choice that we have to make, it is not something that we can ignore or choose to dismiss. Women are being destroyed in the Congo and we can, and must do something about it. If you don't know about the situation in DRC i implore you to get hold of the film 'Until the Violence Stops' i assure you after watching that film you will understand why i feel so proud to be part of the V-Day Movement, and how important, and necessary it is for the movement to continue doing the work it does!!!

A massive thank you to all the festival crew, all at the New Players Theatre and Jeremy with his donation bucket and amazing victoria sponge cake. You guys rock, and should all feel very proud!!

So... what am i going to do now?? well firstly i might indulge myself and have a couple of nights at home with more than 5 hours sleep and nicer food than a sarnie thats been in my bag since breakfast :) Not for long though, i have been cast in a couple of webisodes for a new comedy series... watch this space, and also have a couple of offers for shows at the edinburgh fringe festival that need serious consideration! oooh i'm also planning a week island hopping in Croatia this summer... only thing is i'm going to be swimming between islands! I predict my lazy nights are about to be over run by googling must see spots on the Croatian islands :)

Opening Night.....

I hate the last few seconds before i walk on stage. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I am sure i am not alone when i say, my hands start to sweat, my tongue gets dry, i cannot stop the thought that everything i have practiced and rehearsed over the weeks leading up to opening night will somehow, strangely, be immediately erased from my memory as soon as i step foot on stage. This opening night was no different... poor fellow actress and 'See You Next Tuesday' producer Annie Saunders, was subjected to some expletives and fretting as we waited in the wings, and then as the house lights went down (and i suddenly remembered how to breathe) i stepped out and......... was absolutely in my element! It is such a strange feeling. Momentarily going from, questioning your own career choice, to realising no other occupation could compare!!!!!

Press Night for the Vagina Monologues was on Friday 5th, and then yesterday 09.03.10 we opened to the public. The last few weeks have been extremely full on for us all, working full-time and rehearsing every other spare minute, but the response that we received last night made all the aches and pains tiredness and work 100% worth it.

We spread the word about women around the world, and the audience gave generously to our cause to raise £2000 in order to pay for 100 women at the City of Joy in the Congo, to have a years worth of self defense lessons. The evening therefore was a complete success!

Being on stage talking about the issues that are still happening all over the globe made me realise how important The Vagina Monologues still are as a piece of theatre. Some people think they're out dated because they were written 15years ago. Some people deem it to be indulgent. Some just think its women talking about hating men. It could be farther from these descriptions. Until the time comes when a woman says 'NO', and it means NO, until women are not seen as weak or insignificant, until violence against women stops permanently then i believe there will always be a place for The Vagina Monologues, and i would encourage everyone, men and women alike, to become involved in this important and necessary movement.

So, with that in mind, the performance dates for the remaining shows are 12th, 13th, 16th, 19th, 20th. Tickets are selling fast which is absolutely fantastic but be sure to book now to avoid missing out!

Thank you to everyone who came to support x

Laughter is the key

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you! Its very easy to say, and yet one of the hardest to actually, honestly, do. Laughter is one of the most natural reactions for an audience to have. It is all about having an emotional connection to a character, both for the audience and the actor. To move the audience the character must be strong enough to strike a chord, to tug on some memory, to ignite something within the audience. It sounds simple; but its simplicity is the source of its complexity.

I think that many actors are more inclined to play characters written to make an audience weep with sorrow rather than howl with laughter. I’m not sure why?? Maybe we connect with sorrow more readily? Maybe we see some greater theatrical achievement in tears? Or maybe we just haven’t recognized that laughter moves an audience in exactly the same way that tears do. At Drama Centre we would describe this as becoming ‘mobile’ or losing your ‘weight’ a very technical way of saying, the feeling takes over your whole being, it consumes you in a way you have no control over.

This week I have been rehearsing for the Vagina Monologues. Many people misinterpret the Vagina Monologues as women ranting about how much they hate men; this couldn’t be further from the truth. The monologues themselves are based on real women’s stories and although they contain harsh truths … they are also extremely FUNNY! Yes, it is true. These monologues are so beautifully written that they could be read very simply and would still leave an audience feeling emotional moved. As a company, however, we don’t want the audience to simply hear a story, we want them to see a woman, to try and understand what she has been through, to relate to this woman; not just hear her words. These women are not defined by what has happened to them; they are strong, and beautiful, caring and proud and possibly most importantly, they are funny!! They laugh! They are able to enjoy life. This use of humour has played a very big part in rehearsal this week.

It is not an exaggeration to say that I mainly get cast as young children and victims (much to my dad’s dismay) and what I’ve found is that I’ve got very comfortable playing these characters. My body remembers postures and my voice can change almost immediately. The women I play in TVM are neither, child nor victim. One is a 72 year old woman (Monologue: Flood) and the other is a very happy middle aged woman (Monologue: He liked to Look At it); both are monologues that make me crease with laughter! On recollecting this to friends and colleagues alike I had responses ranging from ‘Oh my god I can’t wait to see you do that’, to, ‘but, you’re not a comedy actress are you?’ Firstly what the hell is a comedy actress? And secondly ahhhhhhhhh!!!

I tried reading the lines over and over again, different emphasis, different intonation. Nothing seemed to work, nothing felt natural! Until it clicked. I thought the characters were funny, but I didn’t see myself as funny. If there was still this difference between us; if we were still two separate people I realized I was never going to bring out the humour in her words. I realized immediately that neither character’s I am playing think they are funny, they are just being themselves, being honest! That’s when I let go. I started to have fun with it. I could be as big or as small with the words as long as they were connected, as long as I could feel and see everything I was talking about.

I still don’t know what a comedy actress is, and I’m not sure it’s a term I’ll ever understand. What I do know is that humour is an extremely powerful tool in theatre, and it is one that I want to use more. It joins people together, and flows through an auditorium with such immediacy and excitement, that you can almost feel it in the air. It adds dimensions to characters and actors alike, and ultimately allows the audience an openness and optimism that life can sometimes steal from them. We should all laugh more!! Big, mouth-open, belly-shaking, voice cracking, tears-welling laughter. And maybe then, when we’ve laughed together, and cried together, will we finally learn to work together?!

Stepping Stones

'One step at a time' my nana once said to me; and how right she was. Since my last blog a few things have changed, and it has made me realise how important it is to savour every moment and every experience that you encounter. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement and not really absorb the experience itself; which is why i have given myself a few days of reflection before writing this entry.

The first piece of news is that i got a part in The V-Day London production of The Vagina Monologues. I auditioned for the part after my return from Istanbul and received confirmation a few days later. Our first rehearsal was early last week and i am honestly so excited about the project and the group of women that i will be working with. They are all wonderful performers and are all drawn to the VM'S for different reasons making the group not only diverse but also extremely passionate about what we are creating together. The performances are in early March and i predict that i am about to embark upon a very interesting few weeks ....i can't wait!

This week also saw me reach one of the most important stepping stones of my career so far. I have been offered, and accepted, representation with Red Canyon Management. It is a step that is fundamental in forwarding my career and something that i have been working towards since graduating. I was strangely at home in Dorset when i received the call, which made the whole experience even more special. My parents and family have been so supportive of me for through whole of my training, and the months since graduating that to be able to share that moment with them was extremely special to me and one that i will never forget.

As for what will happen in the future .... we will see. Right now i am just thankful that i am moving forwards, progressing, get closer to reaching my goals and still loving every second of this journey that i am taking . I could not have asked for a better start to 2010, things seem to be falling into place one step at a time.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Rule number 1 as an actress, remember who you are and be proud of it. The industry that we have chosen to work in is harsh to say the least, People will try and mould you, push you and change you. In some cases this is fruitful and can lead to beautiful creations of characters, sometimes we all need to be pushed that little bit more. However, the uniqueness of a character is unquestionably connected to the uniqueness and originality of the actor. It is the actor who brings his own energy and creativity to a role that is remembered, not the actor who does what everyone is expecting, or necessarily wanting to see.

Since graduating i have found that i have a very strong connection with the characters i have played. I know them, and understand them and as a result when playing them i want to show all aspects of their character. When i see a character written on page, i see a kind of empty rainbow, black lines separating each section of white filling. I am the artist, it is my job to find the characters colour's. What is her blue, when is she green, is she ever yellow? i ask questions of my character, challenge her, challenge myself. At the end of this analysis i will have a one of a kind collection of colour that represents the person i will be playing. If there is a lot of one colour i need to question this, justify it ensure that everything i know about the character is coming through; is shown in her colours. There are a million different shades of every colour, and a billion combinations of rainbows.

This is a process that i use, that works for me. Obviously there are other techniques that can and must be employed, but for me this use of colour allows me to 'sense' my character. I will not have written anything, i will not have told myself anything about her beforehand, i will wait until i read the script for the first time and see what colours emerge.

I believe the characters i play are real, they are as dark and as light as the people i have chosen to spend my life with. I believe in my method and approach, my outlook and my mentality. I still get people trying to change me, manipulate me, take advantage. Trying to make me play one sort of character, or tell me its not worth the hassle. Well to me it is. Keep calm and carry on has become my mantra. There is nothing in this world that i get more satisfaction from than acting, it has become the strongest force in my life and it makes my own personal rainbow brighter.

Brand New Burst!

If this week could be described in one word... it would be .. PROACTIVE! I literally have not stopped! I love the beginning of a new year because there is always this fresh burst of energy waiting to be used in one direction or other. I am one of those people that always has about a million things going on all at once and so one of my new years resolutions ( i have about 7 hah) is to take more time, and be less hectic. This in mind i decided that i would take a couple of days off this week when everyone else is out of the flat to sort out any lose ends from last year, and work out what i was going to do with this one. I can't work in mess or clutter so after a sorting out internet and phone lines, painting the stairs and doing every piece of laundry in the house (don't wash red sheets with flatmate's blue and white scarf.... also never wash wool on 40 degrees oops... learning things already!) i was just about ready to start.

I spent the days emailing contacts from last year and new contacts that i have met through people during the last few plays i have done. I think everyone must be enjoying this new year energy burst as I received reply's almost instantaneously!! As a result i now potentially have meetings with two people. And have also secured an audition!

The audition is for the fabulous 'Vagina Monologues'. You may have heard of this production before as it is quite well known. I have auditioned for and performed with V-Day London for the past three years. It is an absolutely wonderful campaign that strives to end violence against women permanently. This year V-Day London is hosting a See You Next Tuesday Festival and the performance of the Vagina Monologues will be a part of it! All the proceeds go to building the 'City of Joy' for the women and girls of the Congo who are being so brutally treated. I would encourage everyone who reads this to get involved with V-Day i will be hopefully be performing in the festival, but even if i'm not, i'll be there supporting the cause all the way!

So, with that being said i need to prepare! Off to Istanbul for a couple of days tomorrow for some r&r then straight back in to things on my return! If the rest of the year continues to be as rewarding as this one i'm really looking forward to it :)

Start as we mean to carry on...

So... 2010 here we are . This is my first ever blog and i'm really excited about being able to write about the highs and lows of my experience as i start my first full year out of drama school. I am hopeful that there will be some fantastically jubilant moments documented on here, however i'll try and tell all the horrendous ones as well (can't enjoy one with out the other). I trained at Drama Centre London graduating with distinction and am now aiming to work, solely, as an actress...... sounds simple doesn't it ?!
I have decided to write this blog because last year i never had time to remember things, i was so very hectic, and i know that i will have forgotten, misplaced, thrown away (however you wan't to say it) important lessons i learned. I also think that it is important to remember the journey that you go through to become what you want. I believe in 2010 i am going to come at least one step closer to achieving my goal.
This year i simply aim to be more than i am. More inspired, more focused and more determined and to initiate this change in me i have chosen to document all my experiences as an aspiring actress on here. Wish me luck xx